Hypothetical:
You're walking down the street.
You pass a stander. He's waiting.
He's a waiter/stander. Bus, maybe. He's waiting for a bus.
He stops you to ask for a light.
"Hey, gotta light?"
Can you see it? Picture there for you?
Now, it just so happens that on this day you do have a light.
You may not even smoke, but it just so happens.
You took a book of matches from the bordello you were in the night before.
You picked up a nice piece of tinder as you were walking a few blocks back, and you have a dry sprig of something in your pocket.
You have a light.
Alright, out of nowhere, the stander/waiter spontaneously combusts.
I suppose that it's obvious that it happens out of nowhere, if it's spontaneous.
Anyway, he spontaneously combusts.
Now, do you still offer him a light?
Cause now he obviously has one.
But, you have a light, he asked, and you have nowhere in particular to be.
What do you do?
Should you put him out first? Then offer him a light?
Stop him. Drop him. Roll him?
I think I'd just say, after he has burst into flames, "Looks like your day's turning around already, buddy," and then I'd walk away.
Spinal Tap for the win!
ReplyDelete'Spinal Tap has had a succession of drummers, all of whom they claim have died under odd circumstances: one in a "bizarre gardening accident"; another "choked on vomit," (although it was never determined whose vomit it was, as "you can't really dust for vomit"), and a third from apparent spontaneous human combustion onstage, leaving a small green "globule" on his drum throne."
You made me laugh with that one.
ReplyDeleteCan we use it?