Causemetic

I wore a woman's hair extensions over the weekend.
Can you believe that you're not supposed to get those wet?
It's human hair
(which is fucking disgusting, by the way).
How are you not supposed to get them wet?
I'd sooner wear horse hair.
Wearing human hair is borderline voodoo if you ask me.
Hair extensions should only be worn by cancer patients.
And people dressed as famous hippie musicians for Halloween.
Same goes for fake eyelashes.
What a waste of time and money and delicately-applied glue.
Like guys give a fuck what your eyelashes look like.
You could ask a guy after 'dragging off' (picking up, etc.) the following morning:
"Did she have eyelashes?"
And he'll likely say, "I-unno. Probably."
My roommate looked the sexiest when she was doing laundry.
And while she showered and I secretly recorded her on my web cam.
Otherwise she generally looked like some sort of stranger.
Speaking of Halloween...

I got into a hot tub and I forgot to take my shirt(s) off beforehand.
I forgot to take off my hair extensions as well.