*Calvin and Hobbes

Calvin and Hobbes

She's my imaginary too-dead friend

And she would blow your mind

I know that you can't see her

But she's always lookin' fine

Her hair is done just right

Her lips are painted pink

But her features aren't her strong suit 

She likes to make you think

Like, "What if sharks could walk on land?"

"How often do whales sleep?"

"Do hobos sometimes just hold hands?"

"Does Bono own a jeep?"

She can juggle cards and throw her voice

And dance upon her hands

You'd love her and you'd have no choice

She's really rather grand

I saw her ingest marbles once

Then she pulled them from her nose

On roller skates she glides and jumps

On skis she melts the snows

She picks up fire engines

And hides them in your ear

She tickles your intentions

Turns seconds into years

Her lungs they run on he-li-um

She exhales sweet perfume

She floats up to the ceiling then

And freshens up the room

She is Earth's magnetic north

She is all time zones

That way, if I leave my porch

Her compass guides me home

She's always been so dear to me

And I the same to her

She keeps away the bumble bees

And ticks found in my fur

I always keep her by my side

So I know who I am

I couldn't lose her if I tried...

I couldn't lose her if I tried

I include her in my plans

We're gonna join the circus soon

And go out on the road

She'll breathe with help from tent balloons

Before we do our show

She grows a beard that's really thick

She swallows sharpened swords

That's just the tip of all her tricks

We'll win big top awards

She makes these things look easy

Cause she does 'em all with ease

You'll gasp at our finale 

Up on the trapeze

I swing out and fall freely

As I tumble to the ground

Then I land upon her pinky

Like I didn't weigh a pound

I already hear you cheering

And she can hear you, too

If she was nowhere near me

I don't know what I'd do

She's my imaginary too-dead friend

And how we love to play

She said she'd meet me ten to ten

She must be late today