"It's a Crane"

I don't know how to start it so I'll just launch into it:
I'm knocked up.
You've been wondering where I am.
Well, it has taken me a couple of days.
Oh, sure, you had your suspicions.
My mood swings.
My early morning vomiting sessions (so out of sync from my usual afternoon vomiting sessions).
My insistence on your leaving the room whenever I wanted to change.
And though you couldn't be certain, and perhaps it was just the influx of Boone's, but you could swear that I was 'showing.'
We're in this together, reader base.
Just know that I love you.
You have to come with me when I tell mom, though.
And she's not going to be happy.
When it comes to my indiscretions and mass blunders, she rarely is.

On that, today marked orientation for the Education Faculty.
A real opportunity for me to determine whether or not my fellow students are attractive enough to talk to.
I was late.
I really enjoy being late in an auditorium setting.
It's satisfying to let a large semi-circle of people know that you slept half an hour more than they did.
I didn't absorb a whole lot from the sit-in.
I did go edge of my seat when mention of the in-house coffee shop came up.
But when the lady with the microphone said
'Of course, it's not open today,'
I was about ready to leave.
The only resounding aspect of the orientation session was the overwhelming feeling that I didn't belong there.
So let's get me in some classrooms.

While cursing on the Newfoundland Student Aid webpage yesterday I realized something:
September first is my least favourite day of the year.
Unless the first happens to be labour day.
In which case, I'm in the gravel pit.
And then September second is my least favourite day of the year.
Consequently, for 2008, the worst is over.

Oh. If only that were true.

'Spose I'll tell you about the missus, now.
She's fought her way to that distinction, by the way.
It's her title in my cell phone:
da missus.
It was close there for a while.
Talent competition she was fine (can you believe one contestant did Origami? Origami's not a talent).
But I really thought that she was going to be eliminated in that event where you have to run while balancing the egg on the spoon?
But she's full of surprises, this one.
There aren't any pictures of us together yet.
But I'm sure that when there are, we'll look adorable.

Tim Ronan is no longer in Newfoundland, and therefore no longer frequenting The Victory with me.
I've never been happier.
People have been asking me if I'm going to start using his jokes.
To which I reply, 'What jokes?'

Alright, I'm going to try and score some free barbecue.