"Tater, come ta Nan."

She: I'd say you're pretty virile for 26.
Me: Would you?
She: Well, you keep up with me.
Me: I get so winded...
She: I didn't say you were in shape.

She enjoys having cats placed on her head.
Literally.
She's asked me to do this for her on several occasions.
There's a long list of things that cats don't want to do for the benefit of humans.
This is just another one.
You should hear the way she talks to them.

She has a habit of saying the funniest things when I least expect it.
You should drive her through Island Cove sometime.
"Holy fuck! That yard has a horse in it!"
"Oh my god! What was that?! It looked like a field of rabbits back on buddy's lawn.
Or gerbils. They looked like they may have been gerbils."
So, we drove back down Bishop's Cove Shore, and we're all looking for the yard.
With the gerbilery in it.
"Oh, it was just cats," she muttered as we passed by.
Two of them. Two cats.
Colin said, "I'll tell ya one t'ing, a woodsman yer not."

Last night I wanted to pick up her Wendy's potato for her.
So that she could shower.
Allowing us time to catch the opening of Law & Order.
Me: So, ask him for the sour cream and chives, and you don't want anything else?
She: Yeah. They only have two kinds of potatoes; sour cream and chives, or theatre cheese and dodgy fuckin' bacon.