Hold My Calls

I bet that the day you learn that you're allergic to shellfish is a memorable one.
Sort of like the day you learn that you can't drive while you're drunk.
At least, not very well.

I'm in a hotel...hovel.
There's a computer nook and I'm in the computer nook.
But the lighting makes me feel like I'm on a train car.
And the temperature is at the exact degree when you typically think to yourself:
"Maybe I should open a window."
So. Hovel.
But I have other things to talk about.

You'd better sit down!
I kissed a girl recently.
A concious one.
She has been mentioned in the blog as of late.
I accidently left my phone in her car.
Which is a fitting introduction, really.

The fancier the bus, the more likely you'll find carpet on its ceiling.
I still manage to spill stuff on it.

Do you know why you enjoy following the lives of celebrities?
It's because your own friends are boring.

Though I believed I was performing in Halifax last night, I did not.
Yet another scenario where the joke's on me.
Generally when the joke's on me, a swimming pool is involved somehow.
The Halifax club had their Just For Laughs showcase last night.
Which was a great oppurtunity for me to sit by myself.
And explain to my friends why they wouldn't be watching me perform.
On the bright side, I had an oppurtunity to make eyes at Scott Pickup's girlfriend.
I hadn't seen him in five years.
He has more veneers than he used to.