My Three Sons

Of all of the things that my mother has done for me, birthing me is by far her most resounding accomplishment.
I must not have been easy to have around.
Crying all of the time.
Not that that was my fault.
Writing 'hookers' on all of her grocery lists.
And, apparently, once when I was two I got into her cupboards and spilled eggs and oatmeal and stuff all over myself.
Between people dying and people being assured they'll die sooner rather than later, Mom had a rough Christmas.
And I had no money.
This was her gift.
I have wrestled with the idea of posting it.
It has been a constant struggle between my not wanting to type it all out.
And my desire to seem sweet.
And since I don't have a girlfriend right now...enjoy!


Through Jiggs and Reels

The crest of an evening, a building clad brick
Tears of elation, both tired and thick
Fell from my mother, below her strewn hair
She's just birthed my brother (though I wasn't there)

Decades have passed and we've all grown new lines
But you can't help but smile, cause we had some times
Imagine my parents had abstained from the rearing
And chosen a companion far more endearing

A pet with thick fur, or fresh molted feathers
Some sort of parrot-I hear they're quite clever
Instead they chose us, for better or worse
And today mom gets some credit, long since deserved

They left then for home, amid Autumn's sighs
To start their new family and form some new ties
The first, he was weened on teet and baloney
But the house was too big; soon he was lonely

And then there were two, as the ol' saying goes
Knocking things over and shitting their clothes
Crying and fighting and getting the croop
Rashes and flues (did I mention the poop?)

Yup, things sure were great in the new Warford hut
'Cept everyone would leave the toilet seat up
"A girl's what I need!" Linda exclaimed
"Someone to help me to cope with these pains!"

She soon glowed anew with a baby soft growing
"Third time's a charm," said Linda, now showing
"She's gotta show this time, before it's too late
Tea parties and Barbies, this'll be great!"

The skies parted open and the birds chirped with mirth
The deers hugged the hunters at this glorious birth
The stock market paused and wars went on hold
Because when God made this one, He shook up the mold.

But sadly her body once more had been duped
Xs and Ys were mixed up in the soup
"A boy!? Are you sure?! Did you check it enough?"
"Ma'am, I'm a doctor. He'll pee standing up."

"Well we can't leave him here. He has to be mine
The nurses won't take him-they didn't last time."
So home we all went to begin our new end
The third time had missed and halted the trend.

Soon we would speak, and mom would be tested
"Mudder's" a name she never requested
Yet she heard it enough when we wanted supper
When we lost our new cap, or told on each other.

When the phone was for her (if they bothered to answer)
When they were out of cash, or they were stranded and plastered
When they burned all the gas, and could they get more?
When they broke souvenirs or put holes in the doors.

But she never heard "Thanks" for the money or meals
The lunches she packed or the carrots she peeled
The bikes she bought for our riding sessions
The books that she read or piano lessons.

For floors swept and mopped after meals never burnt
We'd just grab some cookies and walk through the dirt
You kept this house in pristine repair
For sons who never even bothered to care.

How did she do it? No one knows how
And it's not like she's stopped; the turkey's on now!
These were her three brothers instead of three sisters
Who never could value a family picture.

Why was such effort just met with complaining?
And how can passed gas be so entertaining?
So today is your day, and you'll be praised thus
When we weren't looking you managed to raise us.

And of course we appreciated the calm and commotion
But we were boys become men; we don't show emotion
You know we have loved you and all that you've done
It frazzled your patience, but come on, it was fun.

Like the time Colin helped Brian crawl up the stairs
The Wholesale "De-Pot,"* and all of the fairs
The Cub car rallies and the dimly-lit plays
BBQs and red cheeks on long summer days.

The time I threw up in my swimming bag
Turning our Vaurnet shirts into rags
Carving out pumpkins and getting detention
And occaisonally sitting on Claude's lap at Ascension**

Swimming and fighting in Antigonish
Leaving with dad to come back with fish
Motorhome on the highway, the Venetian blinds sighing
With Colin asleep and me up and crying

We'd make such a racket, we should've been beat
But we'd get quiet fast if you rose from your seat
It involved give and take, with little to spare
But you braved all the storms and that shows you cared

"Why can't you wear proper boots on your feet?!"
"Why can't I wear my cap while I eat?"
"Pause your game now before supper is cold!"
But we'd keep on playing; we'd let it grow mould
"You're not going to McDonald's in all of this snow!"
"But they're out in the car and they're waiting to go!
If it turns out it's slippery then I will go slower
Oh, I guess I'll need money, and can Bussey sleep over?"

You weathered all this with no sign of surrender
And that's just the stuff that I can remember.
So thank you for helping us survive in this game
I'm sure these two others were thinking the same

When our chips were down you held us aloft
Tough when required, but otherwise soft
The lynch pin who held this whole family together
And look at us now, we're all for the better

I guess we all thought we shouldn't distract you
To acknowledge the backbone might weaken the glue
You were the Jenga piece holding things up
And it might all tip over if looked on too much.

But now we are here to realize your feat
A mom and her ducklings crossing the street
You kept your head up and now we've all made it
And it'll always be something appreciated
Through everything right and everything wrong
We're all here now, and we love you Mom.


Alright alright.
A little mushy at the end. I guess that was the point.

* The Wholesale Depot was a Price Club before Price Club existed.
Located in Bangor, Maine. We always intentionally mispronounced 'depot'.

**Claude Taylor often acted as Santa at the Ascension Collegiate Christmas parties.
Because he was so jolly.