Shave near and around your genitals.
It's Friday.
I learned yesterday what is easier than being the substitute music teacher:
Being the substitute art teacher.
I went to the wrong place for homeroom, and the kids had to help me do attendance.
I couldn't use the internet in the room with all of the easels, so I had to just sort of sit there.
And occasionally permit people to use the washroom.
Not unlike a prison guard.
Or hostage-taker.
High school is quite different from other grades.
Though this was hardly the case when I was in high school, most of these people have finger-banged someone.
They've performed a handjob.
At the very least.
If this is the case, they shouldn't have to ask me to go to the bathroom.
They can make the decision on their own.
If they want to go to their locker.
They have to see the guidance counselor.
Whatever.
No matter what they ask me, I generally say, "Go for it."
I barely even pay attention to the request.
You can't do that with junior high kids.
Because they ask for stupid things.
"Can I go call my mom?"
"Why?"
"I have to tell her that I'll be a few minutes late meeting her for dinner because of this reason."
"Won't she figure that out when you see her at lunch time?"
"Yeah, but..."
And so on.
No matter what the student asks, and no matter the grade, the question is the same:
"Can I leave the room and walk around for a few minutes?"
Which I will always say 'yes' to.
If the student is creative enough.
If they're in my class, they're going to at least learn to lie properly.
One of the art kids asked if I was okay.
Because I wasn't okay.
So, I explained that I felt awful because I ate too many Doritos the night before.
She seemed mildly put off by this.
Then I realized that perhaps I shouldn't have told her the truth.
Me: It's tough to figure out what you should and should not say to them sometimes.
Avril: You're 28 and you got sick from eating too many Doritos!
I then agreed with her that that was rather despicable.
Especially since I did the same thing with cheezies a couple of weeks earlier.
2 comments:
You need to start buying small bags of chips.
I know you and you are actually better off starting to pour chips into smaller bowls and the putting the bag up in the kitchen so that you won't eat anymore than what's in the bowl and you won't go and fill the bowl up again because that would mean hitting pause and walking all the way up to the kitchen and possibly conversing with you mom about something you don't want to talk about.
P.S: We are both too old to be discussing this.
There is no such thing as "too old". It's just another device created by the Evil Women Organization (E.V.O.) to control the hearts and minds of men. But seriously, I do agree with the whole chips in a bowl thing. Saves your chips and your life.
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