Killing Time

I really can't put into words how I am dressed right now.
Just know that I'm wearing my mother's lime-green capri pants.
Turpin has a bottle of champagne that includes wine glasses and everything.
So we decided to turn it into a date.
While drinking the champagne at three in the afternoon.
We're having trouble keeping ourselves occupied here in Bay Roberts.
I can't wait to see what she's wearing.
I hope she's not in the same outfit.
That would be embarrassing.

If you said, "How's it hangin'?" to a puppeteer, it would be a perfectly genuine question.

Turpin and I rented a film last night.
But this time I picked it out.
First of all, let me tell you something:
This is the first shitty horror film I have picked out in the course of our relationship.
And it is by far the best one that we have watched yet.
It is entitled Bikini Bloodbath Car Wash.
It was written and directed by Who the Fuck Cares.
That's really what it says in the opening credits.
The film didn't have nearly as many exposed breasts as I thought it might.
But then, it has 'bikini' in the title.
And there were lots of those.
I enjoyed the cinematography.
I spelled 'cinematography' properly on the first try.
Anyway, you should all watch the movie.
It's a hell of a lot better than Mongrel.
I meant to tell you guys about Mongrel but never got around to it.
Some other time.



Alright, I believe I hear my fair maiden.
Wish me luck.