Culture or Bust

Written about a month ago.

This keyboard is terrible.
I think that I wish I was popular.
I'm wearing my rain slicker today.
It's raining everywhere somewhere today and we all need to be prepared.
Never before now have I prayed for rain.
But my new rain slicker is so cool that I love a splish-splosher when it happens.
Yes, the blazing orange colour. The double-welded seams. The replacement patch of rubber.
This jacket virtually transforms me into a regular Christopher Robin.
What a jerk kid. Like "Pooh" is any kind of name for a bear.

I post this video hesitantly because I'm concerned people will watch it and then watch every other goddamn heritage moment there is.
The peach baskets. "I cannot read a word."
They're all very entertaining now that we're too old for them to be educational anymore.
Here's a picture of the jacket while my drug mule girlfriend wears it:

Once the weather turns sour I like to send her out to fetch things. She never worries about getting busted.
I worry about getting busted all of the time.
It's a big reason why I never had an exciting childhood, and is, in fact, a likely reason for why I'm wishing to be popular at the age of 31.
I can steal the rupees right out of your grandmother's credenza without batting an eye, but I worry about getting busted.
The difference being, by my definition, that getting busted means that one's cover is blown.
Stealing is just stealing.
Getting caught is just getting caught stealing.
Unless it's stealing from Lablaw's. Then it's not just getting caught stealing. Then it's 100% prosecution.
We wanted to go to the Chicargo aquarium. I've always wanted to go to a municipal aquarium.
Anyway, the lineup was out the door and it cost, like, 50 bucks.
So, we decided to hit the museum right alongside.
Now, that was also a little pricey and we were on our last day of the trip.
So, the Benjamins were getting a little scant.
We stood at the front and tried to figure out whether or not we wanted to (could afford to) check the museum out.
Then, without telling me anything, Andie asked for some maps of the museum.
Counter handed them to her, and she just started walking in. And there were security guards right there!
So, I'm hurriedly catching up to her, murmuring, "We're gonna get caught. They're going to kick us out."
Unflinching. She was unflinching.
We checked out as much of the museum as we could physically tolerate (we got really hungry).
This from the same woman who gets all squirrelly if I don't pay for a lime.
And why would you pay for a lime, really? They grow on trees.