All Talk

I want to have a late-night talk show on local TV.
Technically, I guess I'd rather have it on Showcase or something, but I figure I should take baby steps here.
If that's how Howard Stern did it, I should do it that way too.
Of course, he was the shock guy. That is, until he became the vibrating sex saddle guy (which is still shocking, I guess).
I'm not looking for anything quite as intimate.
I want a desk, I want two chairs (I'm thinking of calling it "The Desk and Two Chairs with Paul Warford"), I want a band guy and I want a fish tank, maybe.
Not a fish tank.
Maybe a fish tank.
And I'd like a piñata every week that the closing guest can beat the shit out of.
I just thought of that this second.
It's where I'm supposed to be.
Writing. Comedy. Begging for change.
Among all the things I excel at, late night is where I'm supposed to be.
I didn't grow up watching Carson or Letterman or Arsenio, but I'm not sure that matters.
It's where I should be anyway.
A different suit each night and an expectation to flirt with women in a way that doesn't go anywhere?
Perfect. That's the perfect fit.
I think I could make it really fun if I could do what I wanted and I had someone take care of me while I tried to figure it out.
My buddy Peter White did the same thing in Halifax (Mark Little kinda did, too), but Peter made the mistake of not putting me on the show.
I'm linking his Comedy Now! because he hates it, by the way. 
He's got great comedy and writing credits, he's very well-liked in 'the industry', and when he's drunk enough, he's funny.
However, the guy's got the personality of a wet sack, and if it were up to him, he'd only wear jogging pants with stuff written down one of the legs.
Showrunner. I wish he was around to do that with me.
However, he's slowly starving himself to average weight in London.
Anyway, I'm sure that this passion will last a week and won't come to fruition, but I want you to know that today I really think that this is something that I should be organizing and today I'm gonna do it!
We'll see where I'm at this time tomorrow...

And I could have a band each week and pretend I know their music.
And I could try to get Ryan Snodden on there, and despite our differences (that he doesn't know about), I have to admit that that would be awesome.