9 to Fine

Oh, humans.
How are you all?
Are you missing me?
Many people do.
Scattered across the globe there are people saying 'Paul/Screech/Warford/Paulie? Yeah, I remember him.
That guy was a dick.'
And now the dick's here. To talk to you.

Alright, so I interviewed Mike MacDonald on Saturday.
Which I, of course, almost slept through.
I sleep through nothing. Nothing!
I'm the whiniest insomniac there is, everyone knows this.
I slept through two phone calls, Colin and his loud girlfriend leaving for work, and a pair of men hauling away a garbage box immediately adjacent our apartment.
Elling left a phone message.
Well, two.
I drove down in a thundershower, how dramatic is that?
Yeah, I know.
Pretty dramatic.

For those curious, he was very cordial and not at all jerkish.
Yes, he was funny for a lot of it.
About three quarters through the interview I had told him I did standup myself, and I just started treating him like a workshop, asking his advice on various shit.
It went smoothly from there.
He has three pairs of Ugg boots (we know I'm not a fan).
One pair he only wears onstage.
I asked him to wear them when he's here in St. John's.
Cross your fingers.
We talked about Lisa Lampenelli*.

I picked up Tim Ronan yesterday whilst I was driving down Elizabeth Avenue.
Although he sort of blended in with the grass and trees that were around him.
But when it comes to picking out fuzzy beards and receding hairlines, no one's better than me.
I drove him to the mall.
I made him buy me coffee.

Saturday will see the first-ever party that Colin has thrown in about a year.
And we're having margaritas.
Es Playtime!
I didn't come up with that. Rockstar Studios did.

I've been absent lately cause I've been miserable because I'm looking for a job.
I'll be straight with you.
I just don't want one.
Is that so bad?
I mean, I want one, or I need one.
Groceries, and rent, and VISA payments and blah blah blah.
But that doesn't mean I have to be excited about it.
I'm not.
I might get on at the CD Plus in the mall.
A very risky move with my mentality these days; getting a job in the food court.
In Da Mall.
But I need a job.
And a music discount is a music discount, however you slice it.
Alright, that's it. I'm sick of writing shit.
Are we into summer yet? Has that happened?

*She's intensely crass, so watch it those of you with a heart murmor.