She used my toothbrush once, you know.
Did I ever tell you?
Da missus and I have been on the go for an entirely staggering two to three months.
Ish.
And I once asked her, at some point after intercourse had started, if I could use her toothbrush.
I wouldn't say that she was appalled, necessarily.
But she was something like appalled.
She explained that we weren't so far along.
I told her she was welcome to use mine whenever.
She told me that she had never used another's toothbrush.
Apparently she doesn't use toothbrushes as haphazardly as I do.
One night, however, soon after I had finished pleasing her sexually
-several, several times-
SHE BRUSHED HER TEETH WITH MINE.
Now, no matter what happens, I'll be the guy.
"Paul Warford?
Yeah, I know him. I dated him for a while. He's a fucking deadbeat.
Did I ever use his toothbrush? Yeah...I did.
I'm ashamed to say it...but he was my first."
This is how ex-girlfriends talk about me, by the way.
Relationships are small victories.
And huge, obnoxious fights in which you throw plates at one another.
1 comment:
A blog shout out!
I'm famous now.
I think you made up the sexual part.
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