The Handman's Tale

We have engagement rings.
We have wedding rings.
Well, you and I don't (though we would if I had my way).
But as a bunch of humans walking upright.
We have wedding and engagement rings.
Which is becoming handy these days.
Because I'm at an age where women I might otherwise flirt with are wearing these.
Saves me a great deal of time.
I see a pretty lass, I'm checking out her shoes, and then I notice:
wedding ring
Then I don't have to bother anymore.
I can let the door slam in her face.
It's a good system.
But we need a labeling process for men and women that's more sophisticated.
Here's what I'm getting at:
Sashes.
If you're dating someone for a month or less, you wear the yellow sash.
A month to six, you wear the red sash.
A year could be navy. Two; mauve.
If you're with someone but you think they're a prick, red.
Just like progression through swimming.
Unless you're me.
Then you stay at green or whatever the bottom colour was.