This belongs in Turpin's blog OR If She Asks, You Don't Know Me

There are certain aspects of Spring that tickle me just so. 

Wearing shorts. 

Feeding ducks. 

Ogling women wearing skirts and dresses. 

Being accosted in the park. 

Which just happened. 

Some snippets:

"Fuck!" She said from her bicycle. 

I look up and she says "Sorry," and I mutter whatever. 

That's how it began. 

Then this person is sitting next to me on the bench. 

"You look familiar," she says while she scrutinizes me.

"Do I?"

"Did you go to Coley's Point Primary?" 

"No, but my mom taught there."

"I thought so. What's your name."

I have no idea why I told this person my name. 

Well, I do. Because I didn't realize initially that I was speaking with an unbalanced person. 

It soon became clear, though. 

I started lying when it did. 

"I'm Rebekah Swaine. I know what you're thinking. But I'm not that Rebekah Swaine."

I have no idea what she's talking about. 

"So are you in MUN?"

"Yeah..."

"What're you studying?" 

"Kineseology."

"Never heard of it."

"It's like gym. We go canoeing and rafting."

"Oh, I hate you. Just kidding. I'm doing Sociology."

A pause. 

"Okay, I'll be honest with you. I am that Rebekah Swaine. 

But I never actually threatened those teachers. 

One of them I never even had before. 

My lawyers asked for them to provide all video evidence, and guess what?"

Nervous now.

"What's that?"

"They didn't even have footage of me in the library! I was sleeping, believe it or not.

They gave me probation. Two years. 

Bullshit."

Later.

"I'm epileptic. Sometimes I have seizures. 
I hit a nurse. She's pressing charges. That bitch. 

I should sue her."

"Absolutely."

"Well, I'll leave you alone."

"Okay."

Standing above me now. 

"You seem nice."

"Oh yes, I'm quite nice." 

She eventually left. 

By the end of it I was terrified.

Our encounter was truly a synopsis of this article. 

eDit: she wore her bicycle helmet throughout this entire exchange.