Balled Spot

Well, it's summertime, probably.
Is it summertime yet?
According to Julian?
Whatever it is, it's time for girls to wear sundresses.
This is every man's favourite time of year.
Let's not forget that the playoffs are also on.
And the crowd down to Molson will soon put out 15-packs
of beer that contain free caps and gym bags.
You can't don these items at your local high school.
But they're perfectly acceptable at the airport.

My brother always wears a ball cap.
"Have you seen me lid anywhere?"
That's what he calls it.
When we were younger, adults would always say that wearing a cap
all day long would make you go bald.
Which hasn't happened with Colin.
He's relatively miserable, though.
Maybe the cap did it.

This year 'round, would you do me a favour?
When you're standing in line and the fat woman is in front of you,
waiting for her chocolate chiller-'yes' to whipped cream-
and you notice that she's wearing sandals?
And the heels of her feet are peeling and cracked and flaking skin?
And your eyes are fixated to them?
And you're wondering who's making that retching noise and then you realize that it's you?
Tell her to put some fuckin' socks on.

I'm playing paintball later today.
I'm already playing it in my head.
And have been since the last time I played.
Fire up the Coleman stove and boil some wieners.
Listen to this while you do so.