David.

I'd like to dress up as an Amish person.
And go browse the Amish furniture store.



"This chair is too comfortable. I require a less comfortable chair."
"Do you have any beds that have dividers in the middle of them?
Like the ones placed between urinals sometimes?"
Occaisonally you can see them leaving with their new purchases.
With their mattresses strapped to the tops of their buggies.
I do feel a certain kinship with the Amish.
We're the only ones who still conduct banking in actual banks.

Speaking of having sex and being ashamed of it.
I'm very much keen on this girl in my education class.
It's exhausting going back to class after the internship.
Because we're starting over all over again.
And certain people will walk into my class and I'll say to myself:
"Oh fuck, I forgot all about this asshole."
She was the only pleasant reminder.
But she's one of these girls who you know is far beyond your appropriate range.
When you look a certain way, you end up with certain people.
That's why we'll always have ugly people.
Because ugly people only have sex with other ugly people.
Then the ugly people have ugly babies.
And they post pictures of those babies on Facefuck
("Hey! I'm tryin' to eat my lunch!")
And this girl is far more attractive than I am.
I'm holding out that she might be too attractive, and therefore guys never talk to her.
Affording me the opportunity to embarrass myself on a whole new plain.

eDit: This isn't supposed to be a shot at any of you former maids of mine.
I say that ugly people will have sex with ugly people.
By which I mean the people in line at the gas station.
I don't think that I look ugly.
I think I look great.