Bobbing for Titles

I have those ribbon bumper stickers all over my body.
Because I support everything.
But I don't want to taint my car's non-colour paint job.
They keep coming off in the shower, though.

Alright
Alright.
So it's Halloween or whatever.
I'd be out Trick or Treating with my children.
But they're all illegitimate, so I don't have to deal with them.
That's what social workers are for.
Have you all inserted your needles and pins into your apples yet?
There's not much time left...
Why is it that there's always one year, during childhood, in which you dress up like a hobo?
And parents always let their kids get away with it.
Not me though.
If my illegitimate kids track me down
And they want to dress up as frigging vagrants, I'll set them straight.
"No dice. You're all going as vampires this year.
You'll have enough time to dress up as hobos when you're homeless.
Now start slicking your hair back."

I'll upload pictures of it around Christmastime.
But rest assured, this is the most lackluster year for a costume yet.
Due to a number of things.
Primarily, I just don't care anymore.
I've lost the energy.
But more so, Esteves already beat me to the Elvira costume idea.
Just as well; I can't fit into my dress anyway.
I've been eating too many molasses candies*.

*I couldn't find a picture of these.
I really wanted to.