My Word

I wrote this ages ago.
I have no idea when this was written.
I know that it was on a very warm day.
I know I was on a bench.
I prepared to transcribe it into the blog one night, and then I realized that my family is annoying, maybe.
Realizing that your families are all annoying, too, here it is:

Written on The Day in Question:

Kevin Pollack didn't re-tweet me.
I guess I shouldn't be surprised.
It's not like he plays with the Toronto Raptors.
He was in Casino, for crying out biscuits.
I don't know why I wrote that.
Instead of biscuit, my brother will say, "Bisq-wee."
The Warfords have lots of stupid mispronunciations.
Comes from having an illiterate father.
I kid. He reads.
I thought about listing some of our stupid expressions...
But I've likely already done so in here...somewhere.
And it was no less a waste of time then.
If it's too warm in a car, we'll say, "Ease back on the chaff."
Doesn't really mean anything, but one of us will turn down the heat after hearing it.

I have to stop writing this for a minute so that I can go pet that dog.
I'll try to get a picture.
Fuck, I need business cards again.

He or she was rescued, thank goodness.
Rescued like an orphan.
Or a used hot tub.

Sometimes I think I'm a proficient host in a struggling comic's body.

I'd try writing a script if I had a studio apartment.

No one was ever actually supposed to settle in Canada.
We're supposed to be in sunshine.
We should have settled in balmier climates and just went to Canada whenever we needed lumber.
The Warfords say that, too. Balmy.
If the weather is awful, Colin will say, "It's good and balmy out."
Which is sarcasm.
Today is actually balmy.
Which is good.