Like the silhouttes in the commercials, I enjoyed a little Aerosmith while waiting for my massage at the local parlor.
The undersides of bridges.
I listened to music whenever I walked about.
Mostly because I really get off on buying headphones, I think.
These days, I listen to music much less whilst walking.
Choosing instead to punish myself with the echoings of my own boorish thoughts.
When I'm not undressing women with my eyes - actually, even when I am undressing women with my eyes, I can now eavesdrop on conversations.
Consequently, I have learned that people say stupid shit all the time (I guess I should've known).
I was on the metro, taking the #1 to the shoe horn store (I don't know why i just said that).
I heard a woman describing a recent first date to a friend.
And she said, "I dunno if I'll see him again.
The first date is just to make sure that he's not a serial killer anyway."
Wishing I had my music back, I pontificated that serial killers-good serial killers (which is all of them)-don't reveal themselves as serial killers in a 3-hour encounter.
If you want to be sure he's not a serial killer, I would recommend at least twelve dates and a trip or two to the cottage for good measure.
Survive that, and you'll know you've found your man.
Whenever I experienced writer's block (laziness), I assume it's an emotional blockage that's preventing me from progressing.
In actuality, though, it's usually just a ball of my hair.
Speaking of, it's time to get it cut.
I have to be attentive to my look with this new job.
I had a gentleman kindly suggest that I not wear three-piece suits to work because they could be perceived as intimidating.
I felt like saying, "You're the one wearing rimless glasses!"
I'm not sure everyone would want to buy a car from hair like mine.
In a similar vein, Andie suggested that I sometimes wear the bow-tie that she bought me.
I love the idea, but if you're a car salesman and you approach someone while wearing a bow-tie, they're going to think:
"Look at this lying piece of shit coming our way. Let's get out of here and buy a Kia."
1 comment:
The guys at my Mazda dealer wear nice pants and dealer-branded polos. Every day. I hope they have at least 6 of them each.
I have to say, I'd be intimidated by the suit, but then I'd talk to you because of the hair.
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