So Fresh And So Clean

Eindhoven: A great place to dip one's toe in Dutch culture before hitting Amsterdam and losing track of it all.
All buildings in the area are classically slim, with narrow, winding staircases. If you plan to bring heavy luggage, be sure to have a loved-one accompany you for any lifting.

Opting to not camp on our first night of arrival as we'd originally planned, Andie and I found a little spot called Hotel...I don't know what. I'll find a photo and figure it out.
We're gonna be Trip Adviser guerrilla terrorists now that this is all over, whatever that means.
With our stuff dropped off, Andie and I hit the street and started wandering into traffic and bike lanes. 
We dropped by the next-door bar and then decided to search several blocks to find a place to eat before settling on the restaurant next to the next-door bar.
We had one of the most beautiful meals of the trip, and our waitress was a tough-to-place age with a tough-to-place sexuality, and I tried to figure out if she was attractive.
I was more preoccupied with what her sexual habits might be than I should've been as I had the fish:

We dropped into a 'coffee shop' to be told that we couldn't smoke or buy weed because we weren't locals or members.
I put 'coffee shop' in quotes like they don't sell coffee in there, but they do. They also sell the weed. Coffee shops are the weed shops for any folks who are unenlightened as I was.
I didn't realize just how unenlightened until the guy told us this, though.
Moments later, a man pulled by in a car, saying, "Couldn't get weed, huh? I could grab you some for a few Euro."
We later learned that this was a common sort of practice, but we were trying really hard not to be gullible tourists, so we declined. He was probably a cop.
French assholes from France. It's their fault. They, among others, would pick up from places like Eindhoven and then cart it all back to their less cool countries to sell.
It's a new thing, just signed in 2012. Coffee shops respect the law, but no one outside of the business owners seemed to take it too seriously.
So there you go, honkies. There's a travel tip. There will be more.
At first, I wanted to describe the whole trip in a travel style like the first couple of sentences of this post, but I have now decided, sitting in my chair, that a dozen posts of that would be way too exhausting.
I gotta be me, everybody! I've got no one else to turn to!
We awoke to a breakfast of the best goddamn coffee I've ever had and some ham and stuff.
After checking out, we wandered into some bike lanes and explored the area.
I saw a municipal employee picking up litter with a claw thing and noticed he was whistling.
"Of course he's whistling, there's no garbage," I thought. Later, I saw a cigarette wrapper on the sidewalk and decided they were human after all.
The setting was bizarre in its meticulousness, though, and Eindhoven was as neat as a pin.
On the train, as we made our way to Amsterdam, I peered the countryside and wondered who was doing the landscaping. I mean, how do you get a whole region to look like a golf course (there's even windmills!)?
Then, gazing signs at the next stop, I wondered if the letter 'L' often followed 'J' like that over here.
What a cooky place!
How is this? Is this travel writing? If so, then travel writing is easy.

Once again, this post is brought to you by the city of Eindhoven and Schwarkzopf hair products. When you're buying your haircare at the grocery store, it's Schwarkzopf.