I'm More a Saint Than He Was

Yesterday was Valentine's Day.
Did you all have intercourse with your loved ones or hookers?
Good.
Good.
I had to do things for someone this Valentine's Day.
Which was fine.
It's nice to wear something besides pajamas sometimes.
I made a card.
I drew yaks on it.
You can tell it's Valentine's Day when you read the back of my hand and it says:
flowers
shave
deoderant
That means romance is in the air with Paul Warford.
Who is me.

Yesterday was also a big night for me at work.
First porno rental. First two, in fact.
There's a door code that customers need to acquire in order to enter the sex room.
I keep forgetting to ask what the number is.
And I know, I just know that the first time someone asks me for the code, it will be while my co-worker is on a break.
And I'll be forced to say, "I'm not sure. But Ashleigh should be back from her break soon."
Then he (it'll be a guy, let's face it) and I will look blankly at one another.
That's my luck.
Almost.
More true to my form, however, would be the above situation, except the customer is a former high school teacher of mine.
And his wife.