MarkMyWords

I ate microwaved potato wedges yesterday.
Because I'm a man who takes risks.
Andrew Butler had the same.
Peter Russell had an Italian submarine sandwhich.
Although I personally question how authentic that 'Italian' label was.
We had coffee in Starbucks adjacent all the books.
The other two said that the girl who was re-stocking the magazine shelves kept looking at me.
But I'm sure that she was just re-stocking the magazine shelves.
Besides, I was wearing a hat that screamed, "I'm not interessted in sexual intercourse."
Which I lamented wearing when the other two mentioned that the girl was looking at me.

I managed to lose my car and apartment keys yesterday without leaving my apartment.
I still haven't found them.

I agree with Colin on this one.
I caught this quote of his during one of his rare, booming announcements:
"People talkin' about rich people bein' spoiled?
If I was rich I wouldn't do a fuckin' thing."
It's the way that he says these things that makes them beautiful.
He hates that I mention him in this blog.

Love him or ridicule him, Jerry Seinfeld has a very apt bit in which he describes the toilet water going up instead of down.
He suggests that this is the scariest possible moment in a human being's life.
I think he's right.
It happened to me recently, during which time I made several panicked phone calls.

If someone had told me, at the age of seven, that playing the piano could yield a lot of sex, and that sex felt good, I would have stuck with my piano lessons.

I encountered my first-ever non-fan.
I guess that's what he was.
I met some fellow named Mark, and while shaking he said, "Yeah, I've seen you do standup at The Victory before."
And so I said, "Did you think I was funny?"
To which he replied, "Uh, I can't remember."
I said, "That means 'no'."
If I ever make an album, Mark's going in the liner notes.
Though I imagine he won't notice.

Dear Lord.
Is that all I've got?
I've swept back through my ass-pocket book, and that's all I've got.
I'm onto a new book, by the way.
I'm just proud of myself for exhausting something to completion.
I took pictures of the new and old, side by side.
I've been wanting to upload them, but I can't find the necessary camera cord.
Maybe I'll find it while I'm looking for my keys.