Because that will be my prime opportunity to release a sex tape.
Which, despite mixed reviews, will manage to shame my mother outright.
I'm going to call it, Bent Over the Stove: Warford's Nearly Broke.
Because I just thought of that title, and I don't believe I'll ever think of a better one.
If people will watch Dustin Diamond's, they'll watch mine.
We once shared a moniker, after all.
Who'd of thought that you could release a film of some guy steering a boat with his dick.
And end up dating Kid Rock?
He's rock & roll's Jesus, for Christ's sake.
All I want is a reality show on E!
I want a shot at the title belt.
The only question is who my 'then girlfriend' in the video will be.
So let me ask you this:
How do you feel about the limelight?
You know, I've been keeping this blog for what must be at least a few months now.
And this post has had some of the most uncomfortable Google searches yet.
If you have a heart murmur I'd steer clear of the above links.
He died for our sins, y'know.
Our rock & roll sins.
Such as that brief period in high school when you thought Fred Durst was cool.
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