Too-Done List

I wore a tuxedo this weekend.
Amongst other things, I also:
-drank beer from a keg (no stands though; no one could lift me).
-kicked a 5-year old out of a living room because I wanted to pass out.
-saw whales.
-saw lesbians ("They're coming right up to the boat!")
-sorted candies by colour. Like a monkey.
-bought condoms in formal wear.
-stole a pen from a church.
-drank several beers out of coolers.
-rode in the party bus.
-got my picture taken several dozens of times.
-made out on a dance floor.
-made out under my tuxedo jacket.
-danced on a chair.
-winged a speech.
-watched my buddy get married.


And I'd do it again.