Writing comedy is sad some of the time.
Well, writing comedy is sad all of the time, really.
But sometimes you write jokes that you know you can't keep.
Because they're not good enough jokes.
But you want them to be:
If it was called Warford & Juliet instead of Romeo & Juliet, just as I would drink the poison, she'd wake up.
And say, "Oh, I'm sorry! I don't like you like that."
"Always...taking...things too...far. And with that...I die."
Scene.
Last night there was a roast at The Levee.
George said it was pig, but it tasted a little too gamy for pig if you ask me.
Luckily, no one did.
Do I use commas too much?
Tell the truth.
Anyway, we made fun of George.
Which was easy because he's old.
It was pretty fun.
I was the only one with the decency to wear a suit.
Esteves was the only one with the decency to get drunk afterwards.
Oh wait.
Lisa and April.
Nevermind.
Alright.
Watch this.
I was told to watch this by an unnamed logger I know.
This has over 18 million views.
The Martin Luther King Jr. "I have a dream" speech only has 7 million.
Think about it.
But not for too long:
I'm not saying it's not funny.
I'm just saying.
18 million.
It's probably funnier when you're stoned.
Get stoned before watching it.
Don't do acid first, though.
You won't make it back.
Same with this blog.
If you're taking acid you should not be reading this blog.
In fact, if you're on acid right now, I feel as though I should tell you that your mind is this blog.
This has always been your mind.
And it is here to tell you:
You want marshmallows.
For the sake of comparrison:
2 comments:
No Matthew was the only one with the decency to get drunk after the roast.
Lisa and I were drunk before it started.
and that isn't how Warford and Juliet would end. You'd be late, Juliet would have woken up and the whole thing would have worked out. You'd finally be able to justify being 30 minutes off the rest of the world
and you'd live happily ever after until her family bludgeoned you to death.
you just don't GET it, charlie!!
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