Ahead of the Plaque

I have a new toothbrush.
I stole it from the Turpin residence.
Because they have more toothbrushes than they have top and bottom rows of teeth.
The Turpins are accustomed to a lavish lifestyle.
They eat octopus for Christ's sakes.
Now, this toothbrush is replacing the mystery toothbrush that I received from Bussey after his wedding.
Because I left mine in the honeymoon suite.
Then he brought me all of the things that I dumped in the hotel.
And instead of my toothbrush, he had this toothbrush.
I wouldn't have cared.
Well, to the point, I suppose I didn't care.
But I would have cared less had the bristles not been so shoddy on this one compared to the original.
I just used it anyway.
Thinking 'hopefully I'll be able to steal one from the Turpin's soon.'
It's yellow. Did I mention that?
I'm the polar opposite of a germaphobe.
Whatever that is.
A hobo, I suppose.
I used to debate with Jane whether or not it would be safe to share a sandwich with a homeless person.
Because I believed I could do it.
I don't mean, like, giving a bum half of your sandwich.
I'm talking bite for bite.
What's the worst that could happen?
Malaria?
Mosquitoes carry that.
He (or she) would probably just smell really bad.