Here We Grow A Grain

Transcribed from yesterday, 5:30ish.

Y'know what sets a first-world country apart from a second-world country?
Eating contests.
A second-world country can't really spare the grain for the hot dog buns.
Or pie crusts. Whatever.
How do they even turn grain into food?
Isn't grain the stuff that we feed to chickens?
Oh. We set a bunch of grains down in a field and then the chickens come.
And those who survive tell the other chickens where to find this grain.
Because chickens are stupid and don't know how to avoid danger.
Which is why they keep crossing the road.

I'm at a Canadian Tire (Tube) right now.
The van has a flat.
I'm supposed to meet mom and dad for their airport arrival in ten minutes.
Mom would be irritated that I'm not going to be there. If she knew.