M(y) I(ntrusive)L(over's)F(ixation)

From the amateur pornographic images that I have seen, I have wondered:
Are Europeans more sexually liberated than North Americans?
Or are they just better at getting drunk?

Speaking of sex with old women, I was harassed in a bar on Friday.
It was great.
The woman told me that I looked like Bob Dylan.
In the sixties, when he "didn't have any wrinkles."
She referred to me as Mister Tambourine Man and kissed my neck.
Maude was still pouring my beer at this point.
She did the thing to my buttocks that people do.
Credit card?
Is that what they call it?
I'm unsure of how old this woman was.
But her features and the intensity of my erection would suggest 55 years.
At least.
I left my toothbrush on the floor of the bar that same evening.
If you spot it (Christian's Tavern), bring it by, please.
I can just replace the replacement head and continue on as I was before.
With some new emotional scarring, of course.
I don't even want to tell you what this woman did to Steve Coombs.