If I've Told You Once, I've Told You A Thousand Times

Alright, enough's enough.
Let's simplify this:
When I say, "Hey guys, this is post #1000," you all raise your hands over your heads slightly, and mutter, "Yay."
Ready? Okay.
Hey muchachos, it's post #1000.
...
Alright, great. Let's get back to talking about chicks in bikinis.
Poolside!
Y'know, it's not even the thousandth post, technically speaking.
The post where I said, "Stay tuned, next post is a multiple of 1000," that was the 1000th post.
And, to get technical on our technical speaking, which we should, that wasn't it either.
See, while trying to decide on what to write about for my 1000th post, I considered a "through-the-years" sort of reflection.
However, my lack of thoroughidity put the calipers to the discs on that one pretty quickly.
You go back through your blog that is supposed to be your life and you realize that your life's a mess.
Or, it's in need of tidying, anyway.
This is where this whole "1000th post" wreath begins to lose its petals.
Because, if I read something from October of 2009 that consists of:
"Hey guys! No time today, so check out this link while I go get a haircut," and I check the link to find it broken, I'm not sure that that counts as a post.
It doesn't, is why.
Besides the haircut, nothing is being communicated there.
So, God knows what number this post actually is.
Frankly, I think it's best if we all just move past it and get on with our blogs.
Am I right, comrades!?
Y'know, 1000(ish) posts have gone by, and I'm not sure I've used the word 'Nazi' once.
So much content, and still things get left out.
Alright, let's see the stupid cake:

Ta-da.
Whatever number we're on, I've had a good time.
I thank all of you who check this blog regularly, no matter how misguided you may be.
"Another post and he still hasn't written shit all about hunting quail!"
All I've ever needed is someone to pay attention to me, so thanks for that.
...
...
Rob Lowe actually startled me with how beautiful he is a couple of weeks ago.
I swear to God(s) this is true.
It was dark and I was tidying my play area, and Rob Lowe was on the cover of a magazine that I had already seen.
And I glimpsed it and physically started.
Thinking something along the lines of, "Jesus! Oh, it's just beautiful Rob Lowe."

Alright, well, let's cut the shit and make way for post 10,000.
Meanwhile, here are some things to expect in the future:
-more stock market quotes
-more injuries
-more steamy love scenes
-more discussion on just how hot Anna Paquin is, really
-more material I`ve unintentionally lifted from The Simpsons
Along the way, I`ll continue to see you as I have always seen you:
Potential Ad Revenue.