SWORDFISH UNCENSORED

Get drunk and wing the bridesmaid speech.
It's Friday.

Myself and the hired statisticians were looking at some recent Tragic Hero figures.
Upon doing so, we uncovered a startling discovery:
Among the most prominent keyword searches on Google that led readers to my blog, five of the top ten were for media of Halle Berry nude.
"Halle berry nude pics" "Halle Berry Nuda" and so on.
I had no idea that she has been acting as such an influence on this blog's continued, baffling success.
So, I decided to write Halle a letter to thank her personally, the body of which follows:

Miss Berry,
It would seem as though we're strange bedfellows. Through the course of describing your supple body and all of its intricacies, I have garnered for myself, unintentionally, a new stable of readers for my humble blog (www.paulwarford.com. A great read if you're bored on set. Does your trailer have wi-fi?). Evidently, miscreants who are perusing the annals of The Internet to view nude clips and images of yourself are finding themselves at my doorstep, so to speak, and, as a result, traffic for my little Internet nook are at an all-time high.
Now, far be it for me to poach your own fan base - ample though it may be - and I can assure you that a diminishing of your popularity was, and is, far from my mind. As such, I have informed my readers of you body's influence on my success, and have assured them that I will be thanking you for your continued, albeit ignorant, support. Consequently, I have enclosed with this posting a Tragic Hero button (the first and only of its kind), as well as a gift certificate for Best Buy. Furthermore, I have included a small sampling of my skin cells and eyelashes, should you need them.
I bid you kind regards and true wishes of success in your continuing career, and I will be sure to grant you more accolades regarding a body most decadent in the years to come, until your age ultimately catches up with you.
With profound sincerity,
Paul Warford

P.S. Your breasts really are terrific. Your sex scene in Monster's Ball with Billy Bob Thornton gave me a massive hard-on, despite Billy Bob Thornton.