Tobaccoh?

I can't determine which it is that affects my mood more; the weather or a lack of sleep.

I did smoke for a while. I never smoked as a teenager.
I am from a small town. Everyone knows my father.
My brothers always promised that they would beat the piss out of me if they found out I was smoking. Y'know. Because they cared.
Everyone knows my brothers.
I blamed it on women (who wouldn't?), but it was also my whack sense of humour that started it.
I sat in the smoker's lounge. It wasn't the cool thing to do. It wasn't the fact that I enjoy yellowed ceiling tiles more than white ceiling tiles.
It just so happened that while I was at the hotel, a slighter percentage of assholes smoked, for some reason. The few people I liked smoked.
So, I ate in the smoker's lounge. I was the only non-smoker (besides Shelby) who ate there.
Some of the smokers would eat in the non-smoking area, and then switch rooms after the meal.
That's a lack of dedication to me.
Which I would mention.
For fun, sometimes, without a word to anyone, I would take Antoine's cigarette pack from the table, proceed to take out a cigarette, light it, and smoke it. To get a rise out of people.
"I thought you didn't smoke."
(while coughing) "No time like the present."
I almost became a smoker at the age of 24 because of a running gag.
The process became more delicious and fantastic each time I did it.
Catherine got me smoking regularly. When we started discussing our fucked up relationship, cigarettes helped me concentrate on not snapping.
Then I went on a roadtrip to Tofino. With Antoine.
Antoine smokes a great deal. He has to; his father is from France.
I bought my first pack before leaving, but I bought many packs while traveling.
Export A Gold. Whatever the Gold represents. I never bothered to learn.
It's funny, but I did start to notice a difference between brands. I thought that whole thing was an act smokers put on.
I held my cigarettes very awkwardly.
I concentrated on holding them as stylishly as possible while I smoked.
I stopped smoking because I started to feel bad about it. Not because I smoked, but because I started at the age of 24. And after my brothers had put so much effort into frightening me.
They killed my apetite.
I kept losing packs. And lighters.
I figured after Tofino that I was a goner. I was buying packs regularly at this point.
"I'm a smoker, now" I'd decided. So, I thought I should see what cravings felt like.
Might as well get used to it.
So, I stopped and waited.
And I'm still waiting.
I lucked out. Because I loved it.
I wish I was smoking right now.
But they say it makes your ceiling tiles yellow.
And I don't need that.