"Extra, Extra! Narcissist Writes About Himself!"

Abandon your boss' daughter at a rave.
It's Friday.

I'm wearing a Hawaiian shirt, and you're all missing it.
I taught at a school during my internship.
One of the teachers at the school recently won the lottery.
I recall her as being rather nice.
But now, since the win and its subsequent televise, I can only assume she was a jerk.
The whole time.

The Telegram article is complete.
I appreciated the Compass article more.
Only because that article was all about me.
Other people tend to make things less about me.
Yes, nothing reminds you of how inarticulate you are like direct quotations of you.