Will Dust 'Til Dawn

My mother-
wait! I think I hear her!-
...
Alright, we're clear.
We're okay.
My mother insists on the importance of dusting.
Avril was under the microscope on Sunday.
Of course, being under the microscope with my family mostly involves talking to dad about the weather.
Besides, she got some boiled corn out of the deal.
Anywords.
Mom suggested I dust before she get here.
In case she were to go into the living room and start lifting up things.
Dusting is the most nonsensical chore there is.
And they have sprays that you buy for it!
I tell my mother that the only houses that need dusting are abandoned ones.
We're still living here.
We move the air around.
Makes as much sense as spritzing hairspray on the lawn.

Here is a recipe for making homemade furniture polish.
It's a little bitter, but it's a wise alternative to buying by the case.