No Dogs Go To Heaven

I don't fear car crashes, necessarily.
I just don't want to die while I'm listening to Oh What A Night.
Eerie.
That's not even the name of the song.
The name of the song is December, 1963.
It's like they knew they wanted to name the track after an early line in the song.
And they just didn't realize which one was going to catch on.
Anyway.
Careening into the woods while that's playing.
Boughs ripping out the windshield wipers.
I'm okay with dying in a hilarious way.
But I'd prefer someone was around to witness it.
For example, I'd be mad at the piano movers for losing their grip on the rope.
But at least they'd have a good story to tell after the police reports.


While we're on the subject, music can fascinate me in some ways.
How it affects our brains and bodies.
Try listening to Ahead By A Century in a vehicle by yourself.
And see if you get to the end before you start bellowing the lyrics.
Can't do it, can you?

Sometimes people ask, "What will become of me when I die?"
Someone needs to be compassionate enough to tell them that the answer is "Compost."
So these people can move on with (what's left of) their lives.
I knew my thoughts on the afterlife when I was very young.
I would say, "What was it like for you in 1812?"
Response.
"Exactly."
Nothingness is nothingness is nothingness.
Sure, that's a real downer of a concept.
But that's not to say it's an irrational one.
We insist on afterlives and whatnot.
But I can't fathom why.
Eternity wouldn't be so selective.
If humans were granted an afterlife, so too would ants.
And skunks.
And Jack Thompson.
Just doesn't seem right.
Our souls don't transcend fictitious borders after we fall off of a cliff.
We're just really smart.
Relatively speaking.
Life is now.
Keep that in mind while you're eating ravioli in a veal stock.
Or you're fucking your sister's friend that you've been keen on for a decade.
Of course, I sure hope that I'm wrong.
But, as always, I doubt it.

Y'know, I once sent Jack Thompson an e-mail telling him to go fuck himself.
Wonder if he got it...