The Space Between

I've been meaning to go see the dentist for some time now.
Which is an absolutely terrifying thought.
Because "for some time" translates to be about a decade or so.
How could the dentist possibly have good news for me?
Do you have any idea how many Fun Dips I have opened in the past ten years?
Zero!
But I'm still concerned.
When I go, I'm going to ask him or her which toothpaste they recommend.
Oh sure.
Dentists are recommending toothpastes on TV all of the time.
But I worry that some of those people may not even be dentists.
They might be stand up comics instead.

Speaking of pulling teeth, I have a gig coming up in Gandar in a week.
With John Sheehan.
Nice guy, probably. Has a square head.
Fights fires.
I offered him a ride on the way to Gandat.
Warning him that it was "a little unorthodox."
He seemed interested.
But he must not know what 'unorthodox' means.
He was surprised and dismissive when he found out that my ride was with my parents in their motor home.
He said that he'd "just take his van."
I don't know why he was so put out; the vehicle is a class-A.
It's a very spacious machine.

He announced as he hosted the Screech Comedy Fest open mic that I would be on next year's gala.
'Gala' means 'festival's final show with the largest venue'.
This is good news.
He mentioned this as I was getting on stage.
Pete Soucy mentioned it earlier in the evening.
But I was in the bathroom at the time.
So everyone in the room knew this before I did.
Avril told fellow comics not to mention it to me.
Which proved to be a neat idea.
It's nice to get good news seconds before you're about to do comedy.
I opened by saying, "I didn't know I was on the gala next year.
I don't have to worry about doing well now.
Fuck this show."
Then I talked about haircuts for six minutes.

I hate the gap in my teeth, by the way.
I always have.
I don't even like referring to it.
I'm forcing myself to do so right now.
And even now I'm not mentioning it therapeutically.
I just won't have a title for this post otherwise.
I guess it's supposed to provide my face with character (faults).
But I would argue that my face has more than enough character already.
If anything, I need less.
Though, to be honest, I'm not as hung up on this aspect of my physical appearance any more.
Not with my body hair growing in the way it has been.