New Heights

Written Thursday, December 29th:

Tea is the new coffee.
Which is funny, since coffee was originally the new tea.
I think I'm a lifetime behind on my multivitamins.

I'm acting like I'm not thinking about my show tonight.
And you have to do that with me, okay?
Do you ever feel like shouting stuff from mountaintops?
Who here got laid for the first time and then wanted to tell everyone?
If you were on a mountaintop right now, what would you-
Scratch that.
You are on a mountaintop right now.
Oh sure, it looks like you're in a shitty cubicle or office.
But if you pay attention, you'll notice that the ground feels jutted and indecisive beneath your soles.
You know that it's not going anywhere.
But you feel unsteady just the same.
The panorama is almost as good as TV.
It yawns all around you, leaving agape the staggering view.
Dry ice made from real snow whispers from the distant peaks that surround you.
The gaping maw of some prehistoric sea creature.
As far as the crags are, they seem even farther.
The silence whistles.
Then falls quiet.
Noise is something you brought with you to this place.
When you leave, the ambiance will go with you.
You can't look down because of the clouds.
They look as soft and plush as so many glued-on cotton balls to childhood sheets of construction paper.
You close your eyes and you can swear you're in an office somewhere.
What do you shout out?
No one's around.
Now's your chance.
"I hate my roommate!"
"I enjoy shoplifting!"
"I'm cold!"
Meanwhile your pack mule is thinking, "Can we get on with this?"
I didn't mention him before.
He would have ruined the mood.
It doesn't hurt to isolate yourself sometimes.

Let's cook up another paragraph without much of a point.
I'm in the coffee shop across from the coffee shop.
I'm still pretending I'm not thinking of the show.
One day these shows will be long past and this writing will be embarrassing.
Y'know, that's the shittiest thing about writing.
Particularly personal writing.
Sure, a journal is a great way for your mom to discover that you smoke weed.
But otherwise, no matter your age, they are a growing pain.
The more the years go by, the more embarrassing the process becomes in the present.
Maybe people believed in sea monsters centuries ago because someone kept drawing them on all the maps.

Ditto for mermaids.
You know why men were so attracted to the concept of mermaids?
An exotic woman who isn't looking for a commitment.