Cost of Fame

You know who I feel bad for?
The seals.
Because they don't really have a voice in all of this.
Well, they do.
But it's Paul McCartney's.
Did you ever think that perhaps they want to die?
They look down at themselves one day and they realize:
"Y'know, I'm too cute to live.
I think I'd rather be someone's coat."

Seriously, though.
I feel bad for Ron Jeremy.
Because he has to pose for pictures like a proper celebrity.
But he can't afford cocaine like a proper celebrity.