The Man in Me

I'm growing concerned that I'm losing my taste for milk.
Did you know that you're only supposed to feed cats milk when they're little cats?
I always thought they drank milk exclusively.
Guess they lose their taste for it as well.
I was once in love with a girl who was lactose intolerant.
She used to eat lucky charms out of the box.
Digging past all of the grain stuff they put in there for filler.
So, I bought a bunch of boxes of lucky charms, sorted out the marshmallows, and put them in one box for her.
Gave it to her for her birthday.
See what I used to be like with women?
I don't know if nice guys finish last or not.
But I do know that I never did see her with her top off.
The sweet guy inside of me is succumbing a little more each day.
When he eventually expires, I can only assume that I'll have sex all the time.
With women I can't stand.
Should be awesome.

I couldn't blow up balloons until recently.
Before then I believe that I legitimately didn't have the lung capacity to do so.
Could you imagine if I was a smoker?
Unable to blow bubbles like everyone else in the park.
Or at the wedding.
That's the new thing now at weddings.
When you leave the church (tent, carnival, shanty in Vegas).
You blow bubbles.
Because people used to throw rice.
But complaints arose that starving third-world children would swarm the proceedings.
So now they blow bubbles.
At my wedding, I'm going to invite my guests to throw their gifts.
I admitted that I couldn't blow balloons to my Australian friend, Alex
I believe I've mentioned her before.
She's like all of my Canadian friends.
But when she speaks it sounds funny.

With all of this bubble talk, I present Men Without Hats.
Currently Men Without Jobs.
Like me.