"And Now the Five Day Forecast"

Sure, we're throwing up our food like the Greeks did.
But we're nowhere near their orgies.
Well, perhaps we are and we're just not videotaping them often enough.
My participation in an orgy would be reminiscent of my participation in team sports:
I'd be picked last.
"Fine, we'll take Paul. We'll just put him at the end of the batting order."

I met Avril's parents over the weekend.
Initially things were incredibly tense.
But everyone began to relax after the third round of Jager shots.
Which is, by the way, why Jager continues to be so popular.
That, and it makes five energy drinks in one night seem like a good idea.
Because of the balance.
Sort of like huffing some gas after doing an eight ball.

Speaking of drug-induced news coverage, I'm looking to get on NTV.
Now, by 'looking' I mean that I'm bothering my friends (and blog readers) by talking about something I'll likely never follow through with.
But I'd like to contact them about my Homegrown selection.
See if Larry Jay wants to sit me down.
Have a chat with Toni Marie in a men's locker room somewhere.
They broadcast stories about nans making doilies.
I believe that I should qualify.
But what would be the best way to get on there?
Avril suggested I get arrested.
It's really the best idea so far.