Blood is Thicker Than Milkshakes

Potato chip bags used to come with stickers and rub-on tattoos inside of them.
Now they only come with nutritional facts.

This school term that just passed was the first in my (seven years?) of academia in which I: a) used a calculator, and b) used a pencil.
I'm not sure I did well.

How bedazled is your cell phone? Does it have those fake rhinestones on it?
If it does, I want to have sex with you.
Regardless of your gender.

Where do I buy a ficus?
I really want to buy a plant. I'm just not sure where it is that I go to do it.
Or, would the more nurturing approach involve me planting a ficus?
If so, where can I buy ficus seeds?
This may take some time...

I want fast food kids to be as curteous and accomodating as the pansies who work at The Gap, and I want the pansies at The Gap to be as indifferent and disillusioned as the kids working the fast food counter.

This is true.
People frequently mistake me for an employee when they go into stores.
I had it happen twice this month (at least) so far.
Now, I had a phase (it's not entirely over) in which I wore retail-oriented t-shirts casually.
But I do that much less now.
I had it happen in Canadian Tire and HMV.
In HMV I was sampling audio.
"Do you work here?"
"Yeah, I'm on my break."
And Canadian Tire?
Come on. Look at me. I'm lucky I get past the entrance.
At the Grady show the other night, a wrinkly old fellow asked me for weed.
This happens to me a lot as well, especially at concerts.
So, logistically speaking, then, I should probably quit my ambitions and become a drug dealer.
It would probably be a sadly smooth transition.
But I'd be making new friends.

Any other writers reading this?
Do you ever just think up fun titles to nothing?
You have a good title, you just need an entire story or poem or song or eulogy to go underneath it?
I came up with one the other day. But it's a title for something that I haven't written.
So I'm going to use it as the title for this post.
Alright, let's kill this one.
I have another to start. I need to tell you about burning toast.