"Useful Idiot"

You know what?
Write your own damn posts!
...
I'm joshin' ya. You know I'd never mean that.
You're all the henchmen to my crime syndicate.
The mercury to my thermostat.
And so on.
Not a whole lot to talk about.
I still have choking, gagging school shit to complete that could have been so easily completed by now if I were not such a deadbeat.
Now there's a word that's not used often enough these days.
And what ever happened to 'hasbeen'?
That's an insult that really had a bit of bite to it.
Because if you're calling someone a hasbeen, they probably fit that description.
Thus it rings true.
I won one of those GPS things on a Tim Horton's cup.
Medium decaf. I only bought it to pass the time, too.
...
Just kidding. I never win anything.
"April Fool's was last week, motherfucker!"
Did anyone believe that April Fool's story for a second, by the way?
Did I get anyone going?
Why a GPS 'navigation device'?
What kind of a prize is that to win?
If I actually did win it, I'd just toss it to one side and begin concetrating really hard on winning the boat to go with it.
What a pile of yuppie hogwash. Convincing yourself that you need a satelite-guided device to get you around civilization.
Especially in this city.
"I forgets where da mall is!"
"Stand back!"
Location: My house. Destination: Shandera's house.
Take me there.
Alright, I'm gonna go buy some earplugs because I'm seeing The Gaping Lotus Experience* tonight.
Which sounds like some sort of fucked up Vagina Monologues ripoff, but is, in fact, a Tool cover band.

*Warning: I didn't check this clip for sound quality.