Sunday Drive-In

Alright.
Screw this.
Side note, before we get started:
I don't know what it is, but I find the expression 'Screw it' impossibly funny.
When someone says it, and they really mean it, it floors me every time.
Anyway.
Screw this.
Subtly is for wieners and poets.
This is for you, readers!


I was on my way from St. John's.
Picture it.
Are you there?
Now, as I was driving, I espied something curious.
The van in front of me was playing one of those DVDs.
It was set up for the kids in the back seat.
I guess the kids had been on a number of Westjet flights, and had developed a taste for the cooking channel while traveling.
I turn my Westjet screen off, by the way.
Like I need screens anywhere else.
Like any of us need screens anywhere else.
They play CNN in the coffee shops now in case you stumble into a conversation.
Anyway.
The van's right in front of me, and we're all moving along.
And then I realize that the kids had just started watching Donnie Brasco.
And I said, "Aww man, Donnie Brasco! I haven't seen that in ages."
So I stick real close and settle in for an awesome flick.
By the time it got to the part where Donnie gets the Porsche for Lefty-
"That's a fugazi!"-
I was hooked.
When Lefty got the Lion, the van pulled into a service station, and I parked at the pump behind them.
This is when I realized that I didn't know where I was.
I think we were past Avondale, somewhere.
There were a lot of alder bushes.
I made a mental note of that, and then got back to the movie.
But they shut off the van and shuffled inside.
So, - nonchalantly mind you - I followed them.
One of the little Juniors went into the bathroom.
Once I got in there, I noticed that he went into a stall.
That's when the idea dawned on me.
I isolated myself into the neighboring cube, sat on the toilet (pants on), cleared my throat, and said:
"Can you turn on the subtitles, kid?"
And the little Jimmy said, "...Huh?"
"Get your dad to do it. Ask your dad to turn on the subtitles."
But I guess that request was too complicated for him.

Eventually the movie van pulled into a driveway.
Their home, I suppose.
But the movie wasn't over.
So, I didn't get to see the part where Left asks Donnie about the F.B.I. boat, and I don't know where I am.
I was able to get onto their wireless network.
I'm parked outside of their house.
Their siding is like, a sort of navy colour?
It's really sharp with the white door.
Anyway.
I'm going to sleep here I guess.
See if I can catch the end of the movie when they're on their way to school tomorrow.