...ridiculous.
I spoke with Edward Wielding, a former high school french teacher, in a men's lavatory at Memorial a few days back. For at least 15 minutes.
He's doing well. He can teach two courses at Memorial without having it affect his teacher's pension.
Score one for our side.
Friday, November 9, 2007
Drowsy
Good morning, dear readers.
It's currently 6:15 AM. Imogen should be boarding a plane presently to fly to Montreal.
They have little bagels there. Or so I've heard.
It was a busy few days. I skipped several classes.
I'm going to eat cold fish and think about some things.
There's pictures. I'll post them eventually.
Ringo Star looks hideous if you really take a minute to examine him.
I'm going to go now.
It's currently 6:15 AM. Imogen should be boarding a plane presently to fly to Montreal.
They have little bagels there. Or so I've heard.
It was a busy few days. I skipped several classes.
I'm going to eat cold fish and think about some things.
There's pictures. I'll post them eventually.
Ringo Star looks hideous if you really take a minute to examine him.
I'm going to go now.
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
Living the Lie
My day so far has consisted of making lists and then attempting to complete them.
Putting on gloves.
And then cleaning things.
The whole effort is a lie, of course. We all know how I live.
Putting on gloves.
And then cleaning things.
The whole effort is a lie, of course. We all know how I live.
Monday, November 5, 2007
Forgot to do this sooner:
http://www.myspace.com/daftpunk
The track should play automatically. Even if you're not into the glowstick scene, give it a go.
I recommend headphones.
http://www.myspace.com/daftpunk
The track should play automatically. Even if you're not into the glowstick scene, give it a go.
I recommend headphones.
Back to the middle.
A little sex-laced comedy tonight.
Went pretty well. Which is strange. Because I totally fucked up the set.
Beyond repair. Irreparably fucked it up.
But things got funnier only after that happened.
So it felt all tingly in my brain.
A good sort of tingly.
Did I ever tell you that when I clean my left ear with a Q-tip, I cough?
I do, I swear. Started at Acadia.
A small, pathetic cough.
Come by after I'm done showering sometime. I'll show you.
My first paid gig of my lifetime. Coming up.
I get $25 and a dinner.
My university education was a waste of time.
Went pretty well. Which is strange. Because I totally fucked up the set.
Beyond repair. Irreparably fucked it up.
But things got funnier only after that happened.
So it felt all tingly in my brain.
A good sort of tingly.
Did I ever tell you that when I clean my left ear with a Q-tip, I cough?
I do, I swear. Started at Acadia.
A small, pathetic cough.
Come by after I'm done showering sometime. I'll show you.
My first paid gig of my lifetime. Coming up.
I get $25 and a dinner.
My university education was a waste of time.
Saturday, November 3, 2007
Outside. The Box.
How was my day?
Glad you asked.
Today was to be my first real effort at preparing for Imogen's arrival.
I woke at noon, feeling groggy and disoriented.
I made ovenable chicken wings. They were terrible.
Shandera and I talked dog.
Imogen and I talked Australian caramel and the predictability of femininity.
I told Colin on three separate occasions that I was 'leaving now.'
I finally got out of the house by 5.
To get a refrigerator box.
I'm not sure what sort of box it is that I attained.
But I do know that it spans the length of my kitchen when it's stretched out.
I walked through the mall with this. I parked at the opposite end of the building.
I heft this thing to my car.
...
I briefly considered, for Imogen's sake, photo documenting the retrieval of items relating to her. I now wish I had.
I needed a cigarette afterwards, that's how much effort it took to get this box in my car.
I talked Guitar Hero with four fellows as I tried my best to act like I knew how to smoke properly.
Kyle from SEARS got the box. I spoke with another employee who sold vacuums and sewing machines.
We watched Jeopardy for a few minutes.
I bought a Poppy.
I lost it before leaving the mall.
Phase one down.
Glad you asked.
Today was to be my first real effort at preparing for Imogen's arrival.
I woke at noon, feeling groggy and disoriented.
I made ovenable chicken wings. They were terrible.
Shandera and I talked dog.
Imogen and I talked Australian caramel and the predictability of femininity.
I told Colin on three separate occasions that I was 'leaving now.'
I finally got out of the house by 5.
To get a refrigerator box.
I'm not sure what sort of box it is that I attained.
But I do know that it spans the length of my kitchen when it's stretched out.
I walked through the mall with this. I parked at the opposite end of the building.
I heft this thing to my car.
...
I briefly considered, for Imogen's sake, photo documenting the retrieval of items relating to her. I now wish I had.
I needed a cigarette afterwards, that's how much effort it took to get this box in my car.
I talked Guitar Hero with four fellows as I tried my best to act like I knew how to smoke properly.
Kyle from SEARS got the box. I spoke with another employee who sold vacuums and sewing machines.
We watched Jeopardy for a few minutes.
I bought a Poppy.
I lost it before leaving the mall.
Phase one down.
Knock the tattoo; not the hobby.
It's footage of a re-make. The original came out when I was fourteen.
I have no idea why I am posting this. I still need to get that fridge box. And some helium balloons.
Maybe I should have went with barbed wire around my bicep, instead.
But doesn't it look fun?*
This was a very innovative title, by the way, before Angelina Jolie fucked it up.
Ditto for The Rock (speaking of barbed wire).
Ditto for Jean-Claude Van Damme.
But then, he could fuck up anything.
Including your face.
*You may have to first watch an ad for the US Army, which I apologize profusely for.
I have no idea why I am posting this. I still need to get that fridge box. And some helium balloons.
Maybe I should have went with barbed wire around my bicep, instead.
But doesn't it look fun?*
This was a very innovative title, by the way, before Angelina Jolie fucked it up.
Ditto for The Rock (speaking of barbed wire).
Ditto for Jean-Claude Van Damme.
But then, he could fuck up anything.
Including your face.
*You may have to first watch an ad for the US Army, which I apologize profusely for.
What Started it All
Oh! Right.
I received a shirt in the mail. I hinted at it on Facefuck this week, if you're keeping tabs.
It is an instant classic.
If all females on the planet knew the library of fantastic children's literature (the dedicated fans will check each link) from 'back in the day' as well as Turpin does, this shirt would get me inordinate amounts of sex.
As it stands, it will only result in an awkward vibe between Turpin and I when I wear it.
And no one wants that.
When I was fourish, it was my favourite picture book.
And now I have the character on a T-Shirt.
Alex Emerton from Australia gets all of the credit.
She offered to send it in exchange for nude photos of me (she must have a seance coming up). I believe she was joking. If she wasn't, I'm going to have to comply.
Which is concerning because I don't have a tripod anymore.
I left it in Banff.
I received a shirt in the mail. I hinted at it on Facefuck this week, if you're keeping tabs.
It is an instant classic.
If all females on the planet knew the library of fantastic children's literature (the dedicated fans will check each link) from 'back in the day' as well as Turpin does, this shirt would get me inordinate amounts of sex.
As it stands, it will only result in an awkward vibe between Turpin and I when I wear it.
And no one wants that.
When I was fourish, it was my favourite picture book.
And now I have the character on a T-Shirt.
Alex Emerton from Australia gets all of the credit.
She offered to send it in exchange for nude photos of me (she must have a seance coming up). I believe she was joking. If she wasn't, I'm going to have to comply.
Which is concerning because I don't have a tripod anymore.
I left it in Banff.
Man's Best Friend's Best Friend
It's yesterday morning.
ALARM
ALARM
ALARM
See how I used capital letters to signify the loudness of the alarm? It's like I'm bringing you right into bed with me. Except I sleep on a couch.
I reach over to turn off my cell phone alarm, and instead put my hand into a pile of caramel.
This is how my day begins.
I'm conscious for twenty seconds and am already sticky.
Last night was spent within the safe confines of Kirk Bussey's apartment. Peter joined us.
I don't have any gems recorded, but it was an amusing night.
But when the hookers speak a different language than you, that's almost a given, isn't it folks?
Then they start striking their open palm with the tip of their index finger. Rattling on in German, or Mandarin, or what have you.
"Sorry, I can't understand what it is that you want."
My student loan is getting low.
Anyway, in other runoff, Shandera is getting a dog.
I look at this as my getting a dog as well. I am incredibly excited.
This will be a buddy for me in his apartment. It'll be good to visit him and finally have a friend to talk to when I get there.
I usually tell dogs all of my secrets.
I will take care of it when they go on trips. I'm already beginning to look forward to Robert and Christa's honeymoon.
Not as much as Robert is, though.
Alright readers, you take care of yourself. Get out there in that Saturday; absorb it.
I'm going to see if I can find myself a discarded fridge box.
For shelter? To build a little indoor fort?
Oh ho, readers...
No. Those guesses are wrong.
I reach over to turn off my cell phone alarm, and instead put my hand into a pile of caramel.
This is how my day begins.
I'm conscious for twenty seconds and am already sticky.
Last night was spent within the safe confines of Kirk Bussey's apartment. Peter joined us.
I don't have any gems recorded, but it was an amusing night.
But when the hookers speak a different language than you, that's almost a given, isn't it folks?
Then they start striking their open palm with the tip of their index finger. Rattling on in German, or Mandarin, or what have you.
"Sorry, I can't understand what it is that you want."
My student loan is getting low.
Anyway, in other runoff, Shandera is getting a dog.
I look at this as my getting a dog as well. I am incredibly excited.
This will be a buddy for me in his apartment. It'll be good to visit him and finally have a friend to talk to when I get there.
I usually tell dogs all of my secrets.
I will take care of it when they go on trips. I'm already beginning to look forward to Robert and Christa's honeymoon.
Not as much as Robert is, though.
Alright readers, you take care of yourself. Get out there in that Saturday; absorb it.
I'm going to see if I can find myself a discarded fridge box.
For shelter? To build a little indoor fort?
Oh ho, readers...
No. Those guesses are wrong.
Thursday, November 1, 2007
riding coach
I always sit in the back.
I don't even think about it anymore.
My brother's made me sit in the backseat of the car for my entire youth stage of life.
Getting into the front seat was a joke.
"Look, the little one's being funny again."
Brian pulled me out of shotgun while visiting Nan once when I was about 13, and he almost broke my tailbone. I should have known better. I was in the jeep. There's a lot of height to the jeep.
It was a rugged vehicle.
I used to ride in the back of all of the 2-doors because of my size, which never stops haunting me.
My gauntness. My gangly routine.
Now I must give way to girlfriends and fiancees.
Antoine made me sit in the back if we were going anywhere in his car, and more than he and I were involved.
"Paul, get in the back," he'd say, while unlocking the door to the Laser.
Antoine refused to put the windows up in his car while driving. He is the first person I have met who legitimately enjoys being cold, incessantly.
I do not enjoy being cold.
So, it's February, and it's -30 degrees outside, and Antoine has the windows on both sides of the car down. To the jamb.
Snow is blowing into my face. We're doing 100km plus on the highway.
Me: Hey dickface, you wanna put up the window a little bit?
Antoine (inhaling cigarette smoke): No dice (exhale).
The fact that I'm 25 now changes nothing with my brothers and transport.
I am still the youngest.
It is not a matter contested, even to this day.
It's truly a surprise that I turned out as 'normal' as I did.
And that I did not start seeing a psychiatrist by the age of four.
I don't even think about it anymore.
My brother's made me sit in the backseat of the car for my entire youth stage of life.
Getting into the front seat was a joke.
"Look, the little one's being funny again."
Brian pulled me out of shotgun while visiting Nan once when I was about 13, and he almost broke my tailbone. I should have known better. I was in the jeep. There's a lot of height to the jeep.
It was a rugged vehicle.
I used to ride in the back of all of the 2-doors because of my size, which never stops haunting me.
My gauntness. My gangly routine.
Now I must give way to girlfriends and fiancees.
Antoine made me sit in the back if we were going anywhere in his car, and more than he and I were involved.
"Paul, get in the back," he'd say, while unlocking the door to the Laser.
Antoine refused to put the windows up in his car while driving. He is the first person I have met who legitimately enjoys being cold, incessantly.
I do not enjoy being cold.
So, it's February, and it's -30 degrees outside, and Antoine has the windows on both sides of the car down. To the jamb.
Snow is blowing into my face. We're doing 100km plus on the highway.
Me: Hey dickface, you wanna put up the window a little bit?
Antoine (inhaling cigarette smoke): No dice (exhale).
The fact that I'm 25 now changes nothing with my brothers and transport.
I am still the youngest.
It is not a matter contested, even to this day.
It's truly a surprise that I turned out as 'normal' as I did.
And that I did not start seeing a psychiatrist by the age of four.
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