A Little Less of Me

I'm single again.
Let's get that out of the way.
Pretty fucked.
I guess it's not that fucked, really.
It's just an adjustment.
New glasses are an adjustment also.
But this one involves more crying and explanation to family members.
Damien Rice.
I guess I'm okay.
It makes me feel a little old, somehow.
Which is a new feeling for me, since I make it a point to never feel old.
That's why I own so many hoodies and refuse to get a job.

Carnival Cruise Lines?!
More like Horizontal Cruise Lines!
If you think that the boat ran aground, wait until you see what they do to the captain.
If there's one thing you can't get away with, it's fucking up a rich person's vacation.
Skipper's not going to be seeing a lot of shore leave once the trial is finished.

I have lost weight.
It's mildly frightening.
My weight hasn't fluctuated more than five pounds in a little over a decade.
Until now.
At first I couldn't figure out why it is that I'm thus emaciated.
But, really, it's probably because I've been surviving on peanut butter for a few months.
I'm kidding. I eat.
I am freaked out though.
If my fingernails start falling off, you'll be the first to know.