Today has been strange.
You open a fortune cookie.
Got me so far?
And the cookie innards say:
You will have an anvil fall on your head today.
Do you stay inside?
Or do you live your life and spend the entire day pretending you're not terrified?
Personally, I'd find an umbrella stand.
Ever wish you had the nerve to yell what you want to in public?
In the local coffee tavern yesterday I overhear:
"His real name is Theta, but the vet couldn't pronounce that, so he called him Banjo.
It sort of stuck.
He really likes being called Banjo."
"Because Theta is a stupid name for a dog or anything else!"
But you can't do that.
Technically.
Cats and dogs are the only animals that can be jailed.
"What about zoos, dick!"
Excellent point.
I'd agree that the setup is similar.
But those animals were sort of kidnapped.
Therefore, a zoo is more reminiscent to the basement of a dilapodated apartment building.
Or, at best, zoos are more like homes with bars around them.
Like a giraffe living in The Bronx.
I'm talking jail. Jailed.
Getting picked up for breaking some vague law.
"I told him that I was just taking a nap on the bench."
...
"Well, I told him I left my tags at home, but he didn't buy it.
Shone his goodamn flashlight in my face the entire time."
Cell mates.
One common piss mat.
Hoping some family member will bail them out.
That's an animal with human problems.
That's Banjo getting fucked by the man.
An ad campaign is not a culture.
The World's Largest Frying Pan is not a monument.
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