Saturday, July 11, 2009

Something to Chew On

Why would you buy your own dog a squeek toy?
Sure, it's entertaining for the dog.
We assume.
But the dog also finds eating its own feces entertaining.
Along with burying your handguns and brass knuckles.
"Honey! Have you seen my 9 millimeter?
No, I checked the basket with all of the keys in it.
No, the kids don't have it.
What the-Rover, you asshole!"
So why indulge him?
Besides, maybe the dog is spending time with the toy because he wants to silence it.
He's pissed at you for buying it.
"Fuck, this thing makes the same noise as the last one."
You wouldn't purchase a car alarm that doesn't turn off.
It's the most raucous noise you could purposefully fill your home with.
At least until the baby comes.

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