I put up Christmas lights today.
They look great.
It was awful.
This is my seven hundred and seventy-fourth post.
And I look back on our time together-
The hopes and dreams. The head injuries.
And I think, "Beautiful women are like bears.
They're as afraid of you as you are of rejection."
Then I think about how much I'd love to have all of you in the bath with me.
And now I can!
After sieging a couple of parking meters, I have accumulated enough hard currency.
I have purchased a laptop.
This means I'll likely write more posts for you people while I'm on the bus.
That is, whenever I'm not masturbating (on the bus).
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