Love Lost

Well, Cupid has shined up the ol' crossbow, and pinned the cherub diaper.
And now he is off!
Delivering presents to little boys and girls all over the world.
He even brings them to kids in Africa!
Now, I understand that he lubes himself up with KY, and slips down your chimney.
But what I don't understand is how he visits children who don't have fireplaces.
The duplex children.
The children in duplexes.
How does he get to them?
Breaks out the window of the back door with a rock, I guess.
It's not forced entry if you're leaving stuff instead of taking stuff.

So have you picked up your bouqets?
Your costumed jewels?
What an occasion.
You'd figure Valentine's would have went out with the radio serials.
Women agree to do sexually popular things that they wouldn't otherwise do.
As long as their men are willing to act like legimately romantic, compassionate individuals for a ocuple of hours.
It's tough to pick a winner with this holiday.
Holiday.
Scoff.
What a load.
Nobody gets a day off for it, and stores keep regular shopping hours.
It's penance, is what it is. It's not a holiday.
But it's nohing in particular for me.
Not this year, anyway.
And though I wouldn't have had to clambor over any heart-shaped hoops regardless, I'm still quite sad to say so.

But you folks get out there.
Enjoy your dinners at Montana's, and the subsequent facials that will go with it.