Taking For Granted

I stole a get well card recently.
I really don't know what that says about me as a person.
I shoplift from time to time.
I have no idea why.
That's four sentences in a row that begin with 'I.'
I really like myself.
If you do something that you haven't the permission to do in Newfoundland, a Newfoundlander might say:
"You likes yaself!"
That's dialect for you. That's free.
Shoplifted items are also free.
That's not why I do it, though.
You might assume that to be the reason for my felonies, since I'm impoverished.
"A round of loaves of bread for me and my vagrant buddies!"
But that's not it.
Generally I take things of very little value, in an effort to avoid prosecution.
I also don't steal for any sort of thrill, like not sanitizing my hands after using a public washroom.
It's almost the opposite of that; I feel trememndously calm in the process.
Like asking out women, I only do it when I know I'll get away with it.
Knowing that I'm going to get away with it is likely the reason I do it.

The card is for an old friend and crush, Shiela Last Name.
Someone fucked up her vacation in Mexico when they beat the shit out of her and left her in an eleveator.
The resort staff failed to list that in the "all-inclusive" part.
It's an enlightening thing to learn about.
I read about shitty things on a daily basis and I think, "That's a shame."
But I don't really mean that.
No one generally means it.
Sure, it's too bad, but what do you care?
You have your own life, your own challenges, your own vacations to plan and budget for.
Which is okay.
That preoccupation is no one's fault.
Then something like this happens.
Suddenly, the CBC is posting updates on a name you used to read off of a nametag.
Shiela and I haven't really spoken since I left Banff.
I'm having trouble saying whatever it is that I'm trying to say right now.
Every disaster is happening to someone you know, cosmically speaking.
You just can't steal cards for 'em all.

For what it's worth (absolutely nothing), this post is for her.
And all of the bones in her face.